Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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