it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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