Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Found the puke drawer
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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