I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize