Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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