do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
