Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
