you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
