she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
