I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
