Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
