If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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