True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
COCAINE IS GR8
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
