Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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