He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
