went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
