This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize