I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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