I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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