And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
