oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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