super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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