I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
