I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
