I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
