I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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