dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
