A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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