I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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