I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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