Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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