I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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