.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize