just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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