Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i barfeds in our rink
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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