dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
