apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize