So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
