there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
