guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
