After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
