If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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