that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
