My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
