you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I won the penis lottery.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
