I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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