So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
