so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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