Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
