I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
