Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
