Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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