But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
