Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
