The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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