This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
