his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
