Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
