he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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